I’ve Made it Through the First Trimester

I posted my first blog post for Mental Mommy Nurse just a tad over 12 weeks ago. So in my world, I’ve made it past the first trimester! That is usually a reason to take a big deep breath and sigh of relief…but it’s a cautious relief. Moms, amiright? 

Reflection

I have gotten some wonderful feedback from my site, I’ve had people tell me they are proud of me and think one day I am going to help a lot of people. That said, I haven’t had much reach to help as many as I hoped. But I also know that I am no #influencer and that kind of reach doesn’t happen overnight, or even in 12 weeks. Even the best seeds, planted by the greenest thumbs, still need time to grow. And we all grow at different rates. Patience is easier said than done.

A piece of advice my great friend Tiffany, who is also the chief operating officer for a very successful blogging page, turned IG famous, turned into full service birth education, was to make sure I have a clear niche. Know my audience. Just using the word niche makes me gag a little. I hate that sometimes these buzzwords genuinely have great meaning and intentions but they become #cringe. Just like the word cringe. She does think my mental health, motherhood, and registered nurse niche is a little too broad and doesn’t have the most clear audience. Now after trying hard to organize my posts, and following Instagram pages from all three areas…I do agree. But you know what, that is who I am. That is what I know. And that is what shapes me to be who I am, and I think they all relate. 

THAT SAID… last week I wrote about summer in labor and delivery and what it’s like working with BRAND new doctors that have never delivered a baby or even checked a real woman’s cervix. My heart wasn’t busting. Most of the time when I write, I am getting something off my chest and then go back and organize and edit later. Most of the time I cry. It evokes emotion, both negative and positive, and it also evokes passion. Last week, I was lacking passion. 

Labor & Delivery

I love labor and delivery. I have been soul searching on where my nursing career needs to take me, and I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. It is very important to me to improve my unit’s relationship between the doctors and the nurses: better for the nurses and best for the patients. Honestly, I enjoy and think I am great at training our new nurses. I am actually pretty chill as a preceptor. I make a lot of my own rules, cut a few corners, but, that said, patient safety, fetal monitoring, and the operating room are super important and often a stack of soap boxes I do choose to stand on. There has to be a balance between relaxed and strict. Don’t teach a brand new nurse that they don’t have to follow the rules and start going rogue, but also don’t scare them and make them cry in their car after work. 

Did you know that its a thing to take pictures of yourself crying in your car? One new grad I trained, showed me a snapchat picture of her crying in her car that she had sent to the other new grad after a shift (not one with me of course). She also showed me the same type of snaps from her fellow new grad comrade. Is that a Gen Z thing? And did I just sound as geriatric as I think? 

Mental Health. Motherhood. Registered Nurse.

I have read pages and pages of advice from female bloggers on tips and tricks, “top 10 things to do” type of stuff, to help you gain success. A few common things: “niche down”, know your intentions, make the time and focus, write about what you know and love, and stay motivated. Can I explain how my three focuses pertain to each other and how my passion for one connects to the others? 

Mental Mommy

I am a mom. That’s kinda a gimme… I am pretty sure mom blogging in the most common and popular niche. I have a mental illness diagnosis and I am currently focusing on my wellness. So many mothers are plagued with mental illness or even just struggles. Many feel like they can’t talk about it or seek help because they put themselves on the back burner. Also, moms feel the need to compete with other moms, even on an unconscious level, and put on the perfect front. Especially on social media. So that puts the pressure on and creates anxiety and a negative sense of self. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Nurse

And that brings me to being a registered nurse. It seems THAT might be the outlier. But guess what I do for a living? Help woman become mothers! Duh. I have like the mother of mother jobs. I am also pretty sure the nursing exacerbates my mental illness, so that’s a connection there. Especially post pandemic. If you ask any healthcare provider, especially who has been working in the hospital, I am pretty sure they can relate. Oh, and struggling through infertility checks ALL the boxes. Struggling with infertility will pretty much make anyone insane. And bringing babies into the world, helping these mothers, when you can’t seem to have your own and become a mom is utterly depressing.

It’s a triangle. 

Triangles are a recurring important shape in my life. Travis, Kylie, and I are a triangle. The strongest shape in geometry. Each side relies on the other two for their strength. Each aspect of my “niche” lean on each other. Mental health, motherhood, & registered nurse: MentalMommyNurse. 

The Next Right Thing

So what happens with a baby inside during the first trimester? It forms from an idea to a “thing”. It implants into the uterus, it develops all of its organs and forms into a real semblance of a person. I had an idea and took the leap to make a name and a write my first blog posts. I made a website and implanted MentalMommyNurse on the internet. Now I have organs: website, Instagram, Pinterest… though they are not developed or fully functional. So what comes next?

The second trimester of pregnancy is often revered as a sweet time during pregnancy. The morning sickness often tapers off, the belly bump starts to show but isn’t too big or causing back pain just yet. The baby isn’t pushing too hard on the bladder or the lungs, so you can still breath and might not have to pee every 5 minutes. 

During the second trimester the baby continues to develop and grow. During the second trimester you get the exciting anatomy scan, maybe have a gender reveal party, and you get to an age of viability. That is when the baby could survive or live if it is born premature. I imagine those will be my goals for what is to come. Continue to learn and grow, scan all my areas, inspecting for completeness or maybe some further evaluation for optimum health, and hopefully get some life out of it!

Also, most families feel more comfortable sharing the news of their pregnancy when they hit the second trimester. They take a breath and let themselves get excited and want to share that excitement with friends, family, and the world! That is a leap I am gearing up to take.

Insert the Mental

I have been self conscious of judgement and ridicule, which has held me back from really sharing and promoting my site. Then, I think to myself, “are people even taking the time to think that much about me?” “am I even that significant in their minds?” When you have anxiety, sometimes you can’t win. Anxious about people reading my blogs, anxious and doubting if they don’t. If my own husband, who btw encouraged this blog, hasn’t even read half my posts, how can I expect anyone else to? AND ENTER ANXIETY SPIRAL!

When I am overwhelmed of how to improve and grow, or what to do next, I have to just take it one step at a time. Just do the next right thing.

ashley, RN

mental mommy nurse